Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Turning Over a New Leaf?

Wow, it's been over a year since I've last posted on this blog. Since then there has been lots of ups and downs and sideways, but I keep pressing on.

What does the title mean you ask? It is a term that is widely used about changing something for a better perspective. I am hoping to do a lot of changing, hoping, being the operative word.

I figured the first day of the month will be a jumping off point. I am great with grand visions of how I would like things to be, but not so great with the follow through, unless someone is kicking me in the butt. And even then it's with grief that I continue on. One of the main characteristics of a lifetime member of the procrastinator's club.

I decided to embark on this journey for a few reasons. One, I feel sad every day. I have a job, which I'm thankful for, but it is toxic and stressful. I see my beautiful daughter, about to turn 18, a senior in High School and I ache that she will be leaving me soon. My husband and I are on different time schedules and it's hard to have quality time together when we are hardly awake at the same time.

I've let myself go and I hate looking in the mirror. I've just given up and it shows. My Aunt went on a 100 day Vegan diet and it was inspirational. I don't know that I could go completely vegan, but maybe not eating fast food every other day is a start. When I look at family photos, I immediately focus on how hideous I look. I want to look at a photo of me and say, "I don't look half bad!".

I'm not quite sure what the process will be, but I will consciously make an effort to take care of myself better. Yes dear, that mean's finally going to the doctor to take my tests. Eating better and maybe moving a little bit more. Summer is a yucky time to start moving because it gets so hot, you don't even want to move, but early a.m. or eve is cooler.

I will tackle the chaos that is the cave, a tiny bit at a time so as not to become overwhelmed and give up. My usual MO. Instead of whining about being broke, I will list things on so hopefully people will buy my stuff and I will have more green.

Speaking of lack of green, I will try to cut out my shopping therapy habit and my emotional eating habit and replace these with more productive things. What you ask? Not sure, but it will be less invasive on my  pocketbook.

O.K. now that I have put this out to the universe, I have accountability. If anything I can look back at this post and go, ummm yeah, when is this all starting? Or give myself high praise for actually doing some of the things I hoped to be doing.

Wish me luck and send me a few swift kicks for good measure. Today is going to be a good day right?

1 comment:

Tina H said...

The leaf can be heavy and stubborn and not want to "turn over" but it is possible. I found that spending quality "me" time whenever possible helps. We always seem to put ourselves last on the list. If you ever want to come over and spend the weekend you can come walk with Aunt Lisa and I. It takes a hard kick in the rear to get moving especially when sleeping in sounds so much better. But we hit the road at 6am. I love ya sis and I wish we could spend more time together. I am now heading to my craftroom to spend some "me time" :)