Monday, May 11, 2009

A Mother's Love?

This is a picture of the wonderful breakfast my daughter made me on Mother's Day. She was so excited, she woke me up early but it was fine. The effort was worth it and although it was a little cold, it was made with love so it was delicious. I think Mother's Day is funny because for all mothers do, we only get one day. I'm all for the "Everyday is Mother's Day" mentality, but it is unreasonable because there are things called "teenagers" running around. When the numbers hit the teens, they decide that they know better than mom and when they realize later that mom is right, they are quite sheepish. But think back when we were rebellious teenagers, challenging our moms and we can kind of understand what's going on with our teens. We don't have to like it, but we understand.

I was watching the news tonight and was distressed at a story about a mother and her boyfriend arrested for torturing and murdering her 2 year old son. They concocted a story about him being missing on Mother's Day, but after many holes in their stories and finding a shallow grave with a little boy which matched the description of the "missing" child, the police arrested the couple. This made me sick and sad. It made me think about what a "mother's love" really is.

There are women out there that do not deserve to be mothers who have many children, then there are women who cannot have children who have the love to give and would make excellent mothers. How is it fair that this child had to lose his life because he was unlucky to have a woman who didn't have a mother's love? It is too bad that there isn't a test or license you need to make sure you are capable of being a good mother and have the proper love to give a child. Sadly, I'm not sure I would've passed the test myself. I'm always questioning myself whether I'm a good mother or not. My friends and family assure me that I am, but sometimes when I look back, I'm doubtful. I have an amazing daughter that I know will be successful as an adult. I guess in a way I've contributed to that. Not having an affectionate and supporting mother growing up, I just learned by observing "good" mothers and also how I would've liked to be treated as a kid.

I've known "Brady Bunch" moms, career moms, step moms and grand-moms who took their job of mothering very seriously. I've also seen some lousy moms and tried to let the children know that it's not their fault that they got stuck with a sucky mom. Any mom who chooses a man over their children should have their mom license revoked. Any mom who kills the dreams and self worth of their children should be sent away to a cave. Any mom who physically hurts or tortures a child should go away forever by any means necessary. Children are the victim of circumstance. Sometimes they can rise above it and sometimes they choose the wrong path because of it. I know, I've lived it and fortunately made most of the right choices that led me where I am today. I didn't have my child until I was 30 because I was frightened that I wouldn't be a good mom. I admit that I do live vicariously through my child, but as long as she is happy, I'm happy.

Every day is a journey and as long as you obtain knowledge, grow and continue to love, you'll be the best mom you can be!