We All Just Wanna Be Big Rockstars

Circa 1984, I was a Rockstar for a brief shining moment. I was asked to front my then boyfriend, now husband's band Ariasonic, after their long haired, screaming singer quit the band. Click the link if you want a good laugh. You can listen to our music and see our music video that hubby recently edited together. We even have an album! Remember those? Round vinyl things that play music when a needle on it goes around and around? My hubby/guitarist was determined to make an album. It was actually an EP with only 5 songs on it, but it happened and he designed it from the logo, to the album cover. We considered ourselves high energy rock. It was the 80's, the time for music, we even had t-shirts made! A funny story, I was at the bus stop and saw this guy wearing our t-shirt. I didn't recognize him, so I asked where he got it. He looked at me strangely and I said I'm the lead singer of that band (Which if he was a fan, he would've known) and he answered that he got it from his cousin (Which was our bass player). Who knows if he even heard our music, hey free t-shirt! Our stardom was short lived as after we made the album, we tried to make a video and everyone slowly dropped out of the band.

I may not rock the mic anymore, but I still love to sing and perform whenever I can. Watch out karaoke night! I will always remember my AquaNet days fondly and my daughter loves to crack up at our old pictures! Dad is wearing eyeliner! I've always loved music and loved to sing. I want to remember my glory days like the ladies from "Mamma Mia" and Rock Out, not rock in the rocking chair!

High School Musicals, Keep Em Coming!

I'm a sucker for musicals. I love them in any way, shape or form. Musicals are my secret escape to a world of singing, dancing, romance and joy. I like them on television, on the movie screen and on stage.

I just finished a tour of musicals from our local High Schools. My daughter's school's spring musical was "The Pajama Game". Not as well known as most, but a fun romp through the workings of a pajama factory, where the employees and management have issues with each other. This one was dear to my heart because I was in this musical in High School. The songs are fun and catchy and my daughter was dismayed when she caught me singing along. Her show choir group performed a medley from "Guys and Dolls". This is one of my favorites. We also performed this at my school, but the year before I joined Musical Theatre. Another fun show, with great music.

Last week, I went to 3 musicals at 3 different High Schools. Here's a quick explanation as to why. My daughter went to a Performing Arts Middle School and now she goes to a Performing Arts High School. When she culminated, all her friends went to different schools. A small amount of them continued on to perform, so this is our way of supporting everyone and see what each school has to offer.

First stop, Peter Pan at Central High School of the Visual and Performing Arts. This school is brand spanking new and is visually interesting. Made of concrete and steel, it's strange that it's so blank considering it's an arts school. Hopefully we'll see some murals on the sterile gray walls one day. For their first production, they did a terrific job. The girl who played Peter Pan went to my daughter's middle school and she was amazing. She and the cast actually flew! There was even a girl who climbed up sheets hung from the ceiling ala Cirque du Soleil! It was pretty amazing. Their sets were colorful and whimsical and the costumes were great, considering the students made most of them. It was a bit long, but they did a great job! I'm glad I was able to witness their first performance.

Next stop Hollywood High School for their rendition of "Rent". This is another one of my favorite shows and seeing a great job done last year by another High School, I was interested in comparing notes. The sets were pretty similar to the other High School's, but the talent was amazing. My daughter was going to go here this year, but we found another school closer, but her best friend goes here and we have to support her. The cool thing about Hollywood High is that you never know who is going to be in the audience. The kids were thrilled that some Broadway cast members were in the audience and one even joined them at their wrap party. The kids were dedicated to the show. The girl who played Mimi fell backstage and broke her wrist, but she finished the show and then came back to perform the final two shows with a camouflaged cast, even though she had an understudy. Again, we were so happy that we could be a part of such a wonderful production.

The next day was our final stop of our Musical Tour. We went to the final performance of "Grease" at Verdugo Hills High School. Since it was the Broadway version, there were parts and songs different from the movie, which was nice because it was unexpected. The two leads were fantastic, considering the male lead (Danny) had strep throat with 102 fever and the female lead (Sandy) blew out her knee again. The cast complemented each other and although the sets were simple, they were colorful. They had several surprises, the first was a full marching band that played down the aisles and onstage and the other, the vocal teacher/producer played guitar and sang during the dance scene. The performance was fun and bittersweet for the students because it was the drama teacher's last show. Due to stupid school politics, he has to leave. I'm not sure what that means for drama next year, but it's truly a loss.

We are planning on seeing the Will Rogers Follies and In The Heights Broadway tours this summer. And there is a movie coming out called "Standing Ovation". which showcases 5 Middle School friends who have a dream to perform. I am proud to say I'm a "Gleek" and will willingly check out any musical that is showing, good or bad.

I hope that people on the School Board realize how important the arts are in schools. Most of these performers wouldn't have considered it if they didn't have an outlet for their talent. My daughter had dreams of being on Broadway, but for now I think she's happy just performing. I'm happy just watching all this talent. If you're interested in seeing the pictures I have taken at all these shows, feel free to check out my Facebook Photo Album.

I will always love musicals and the Theatre. I will continue to support the arts as long as I have a song in my heart!

V for Victory, not Violence!

Before I start my confession, can I just vent?? I live in L.A. and the Lakers are pretty much heroes in our town. Whenever we have the playoffs and finals, you can see the purple and gold wearing, flags flying, sports bar hanging people around, which is fine and dandy until you mix the alcohol and violence. Last year we had a riot outside the Staples center for a victory at an away game. This year, we had a home game and the cops were ready with the riot squad whether we won or lost, but the fools still set stuff on fire, injured people and damaged property. I was watching the news last night after the game and saw bloody innocent bystanders, cars being vandalized and set on fire and bottles thrown at cops. Can you imagine if any celebrities were injured, how this would impact the way things are handled? The fans suffer and the ones doing the foolishness are not true fans, just troublemakers looking to be on the news. Is this any way to spread the joy of the win??? So in my book, Laker wins are bittersweet. Enthusiasm is good, vandalism is not. Lets see what happens at the parade on Monday!

I Heart Free Stuff!

Last week I talked about my 99 Only shopping addiction. This week I'm going to talk about something better. What could be better than getting stuff for 99 cents you ask? Getting something for nothing, nada, absolutely FREE!

Every day I get something free in my mailbox. I get samples, coupons, offers, magazines and other assorted sundries. How do I do it? Networking, subscribing to blogs and e-newsletters, calling or emailing companys, signing up for offers and joining clubs. On my birthday I ate free at restaurants for the whole week, breakfast, lunch and dinner and got dessert as well. This past month I've received coupons for getting 6 items from Kraft and 3 bread items from Thomas and Orowheat for free! Sign up with Vocalpoint and Kraft First Taste and get the opportunity to try new items for FREE!

I subscribe to some great newsletters that help you save money with offers and coupon combining to get free items. Hip2Save is a great blog and Collin is really funny. She shares videos, tips and has great giveaways. Mommies With Cents is another blog that shares fun stuff.

My hubby finds a lot of free stuff via Craigslist and recently I've started exploring my local Freecycle. Freecyle is cool because you can ask for stuff or you can take stuff being offered. It's localized so you don't have to go to Timbuktu to pick up things. You never know if someone has the exact thing you need unless you ask!

I have a history of winning contests. Unfortunately, I never win money (darn!) but I win STUFF! A few years ago, we won a contest put on by Panasonic called Living in HD. You told Panasonic why your family was technologically challenged and the prize was over $50,000 worth of HD products. They chose families from across the US and was going to have 100 winners for the whole year. We were the first of 10 families to win and it was such a great experience. We won a 50" plasma television with home theatre system, 2 digital cameras,laptop computer and other great hd stuff and plus we were in a commercial! We had a challenge every week to use our equipment and had a movie crew set up in our house for 4 weekends filming our every move. One of our challenges was doing a PSA. You can check it out here. Panasonic is still being lovely to us and offering us chances to try items and then we get to keep them! We received a Leather massage chair with ottoman, last week received the Instyler, pedicure helper and facial pore cleanser. I can't wait to see what they offer next!

Just yesterday my hubby came home with a perfectly good shredder that he found on the side of the road. We were just talking about needing one! We have no issue with taking other people's castaways. I'd rather have someone take it and enjoy it than letting it sit in a landfill for years.

Getting free stuff is like Christmas all year long. You never know what treasures await you when the mailman comes! Although he probably hates me with all the free magazines I've been getting! Check out my links and join in on the fun!

Don't You Understand the Concept of Merge, People?

It's soapbox time! To quote Popeye, "That's all I can stands and I can't stands no more!" Everyday I take 2 freeways to work. Within these freeways there are multiple merges into lanes. Everyday stupid people think it's o.k. to drive on the sliver of shoulder on the right side where the merge begins just to get in front of everyone who is merging correctly. Arrrgh! Whenever I see these "buttinskys" driving up, I put my rather large SUV in the middle of the lane so they won't have room to get in front. Unfortunately tiny cars like Mini Coopers and the Prius can still squeeze rudely through and then I give them "The Glare". I'm sure most of these people drive these freeways on a regular basis and they KNOW that the merge is coming, but to shave off a few seconds, they'd rather try and squeeze and get into a potential accident than waiting politely like everyone else.

I live in California and yes, you can believe all the stories about traffic. But another thing they love to do is Road Construction! So daily, you will find a street with orange cones that say "Right Lane Closed Ahead", or "Slow for Construction". You can see the signs a mile away, but do people anticipate and go into the left lane or slow down? Noooo! They zoom faster to get in front of people trying to get into the left lane, or they are stuck in the right lane expecting US to let them in. I'm sorry, but it's not my fault you can't follow directions, so why do I have to be nice to you? Did you let me merge when we were on the freeway? I think not!

Since my daughter will be able to drive soon, I've been trying to teach her about rude drivers and trying not to use unsightly language and gestures. I often mutter things and she always says, "Mom, they can't hear you." I know this, but somehow it makes me feel better calling them names out loud.

Some days I am in a good mood and let them merge in front of me, even though they were behind me, but my mood changes if they don't do "The Wave". I believe there was a Seinfeld episode about this very thing! If you are being nice, it's just wrong not to acknowledge that you were being nice. And another thing when someone cuts you off and they don't do the "Sorry" wave and they speed up and act like they didn't do anything. Then I drive up next to them and give them "The Glare", but usually they don't make eye contact.

Yes, I'm a defensive driver and have the potential to break out in road rage, but I always signal, I turn my head to look behind me, I wave if someone lets me in and I do a sorry wave if I cut someone off accidentally. I believe that we will have World Peace before we achieve driving with manners.

So a word of warning, Californians do not like bad drivers, but yet they are bad drivers themselves, so beware if you are from somewhere else and are on the road. And if you merge into a big, red SUV, then be afraid, be very afraid!

It's Only 99 Cents!

My confession for today is something that I kind of have under control now. It used to be a little overboard, but now I've reeled it in somewhat. I've always been a shopaholic, ever since I had babysitting money to spend. Although I liked to shop, I always shopped sales and bargains. I wasn't a "designer" girl. I liked getting more bang for my buck, so I always shopped at discount stores and places like Pic N Save (now Big Lots).

Then the beautiful era of the dollar stores emerged and it was joyful! When the first dollar stores came out, they had cutesy resin statue things, generic food, utensils, party supplies, etc. and they weren't that much fun. They wised up and started carrying name brand closeouts, fresh produce, refrigerated and frozen foods and STUFF! They had make up, toys, accessories, books and other goodies that were name brand but were closed out in one way or another. My hubby sells close out food and he says sometimes when they change the packaging or size or have a contest, they have to get rid of the old and make room for the new. That's when 99 only, The Dollar Tree, Dollar General, Big Lots, etc. get the deals and resell.

Some examples of the amazing things gotten for .99 organic mixed green salad 2lbs, Littlest Pet Shop play sets, Harry Potter 20 questions game, first 3 series of Friends DVDs, Fiber one yogurt, Sara Lee bread and bagels and the list goes on. My hubby even got 2 leather jackets for Christmas gifts for .99 each! I get very excited when I come home with a treasure. My hubby works right next to a 99 only and sometimes we are on the same wavelength and buy the same things. Now we call each other first before we shop.

It's great that I'm getting all these deals, but going and scouting every other day and picking up goodies at .99 a pop sure adds up. I also have an issue with getting two of everything when I find good stuff. Yes, I am getting a bargain, but at the end of the month, I've spent a good chunk of change, .99 at a time. My hubby is always warning me that I am nickel and dimeing the bank account, so I am trying not to visit as often as I used to.

While looking for the 99 only logo, I came across this interesting blog entry from last year about having 99 Only sponsor your wedding. I would've liked to see photos from the weddings and see how it turned out.

I always joke that if I ever win the lottery, I will still be shopping at dollar stores, just buying more stuff! There used to be a stigma attached to shopping at dollar and close out stores, but now they are so mainstream, you can see all walks of life shopping and saving. I'm sure I'll continue shopping frugally as long as these stores are around and getting excited when I find special things. I'll proudly wear my crown as the Queen of the 99 Store!

I Can Quit Anytime!

O.K. it's Friday again and it's time for another confession. I was watching a re-run of Dr. Phil recently and he was scolding a mom who was addicted to Farmville on Facebook. Her family complained that she was on the computer night and day, she would tend to her "crops" and not make dinner or let the kids go on the computer to do school work. The family had gotten to the point that they would unplug the router so she wouldn't have internet to get online. Dr. Phil asked her why the game was more important than her family. She said she felt needed, taking care of her farm. He then asked her why didn't she grow a "real" garden and share the time with the family and actually have something to show for it instead of wasted time. She didn't have an answer. That lady has issues!

O.K. onto my confession. I am addicted to taking care of my virtual pets. I have 2 frogs like the picture shown above on Superpoke Pets. I also take care of my daughter's monkey and husband's various pets he started so I could get more coins for my Frogs and buy more stuff. After reading the previous sentence, I do sound a little crazy. Let me explain. Everytime you play, feed, take care of or decorate for your pet you get virtual coins. Every time you play with your friend's pets you get coins. You can also plant a garden and harvest it and get coins. There is a shop where at midnight on Wednesday, you can shop and buy things, usually with a theme for your pets. Now, I admit, I would stay up till midnight most shopping days so I can get stuff for my pet and the other pets. But, since SPP is based on the west coast, the east coasters and people around the world got it worse because it's waaay later there. Starting this week, they changed the shopping time to 7:00 pm pacific time, which is more managable but I forget because it's so early.

I usually play with my pets early in the a.m. or late at night, but lately have been playing with them at work as well..shh. My family thinks it's a joke and my daughter has posted quotes of me saying that "Her monkey would be sitting in filth if I didn't take care of it". I enjoy playing with my pets and decorating their habitat. If you look at my scrapbook, you can tell what kind of mood I'm in by the decorating.

I have to say that I am not to the "EXTREME" when it comes to my pet. I do not actually use REAL MONEY to buy virtual stuff for my virtual pet. In the shop, they have GOLD items which are purchased with real money. Of course the stuff is amazing and animated and oh so cute, but I haven't crossed that line yet. I have been awarded gold items and kind people have gifted me stuff, but I have not purchased anything, nor do I plan to. I guess on that note, I'm not totally obsessed.

I also have 2 aquariums on Facebook. The Happy Aquarium and Fish World are my virtual tanks. You clean them, feed them, get them props and play with the other fish. In the Happy Aquarium, the fish are sad when they are dirty and not fed. In Fish World, the fish die and float around the tank. You can choose to flush them or have a friend revive them. I started an account for my daughter so she can revive my fish, I know it's sad.

So now you know my secret, but I do not let my pets rule my life. Check out Superpoke and maybe adopt your own bunny or pig, or dragon. Fish tanks make you happy, they also have soothing music that plays. Talk to my husband about Rock Star and Dead or Alive if you want to see someone obsessed! He can't judge me, I'm just sayin!

To All Girls Out There-You Are Beautiful!

I was listening to the radio this week and a mother called in, very distressed about her daughter. Her daughter was graduating High School and her parents were planning to buy her a car as a graduation gift. The daughter approached the parents and told them she didn't want a car, but she wanted to use the money for breast implants. She is 18 years old, her mother thinks she is beautiful and has never noticed any issues with her daughter's self esteem about her breasts before. She wanted the DJ's opinion on what she should do. The male thought she should wait till she gets older to decide and have the parents give her the car anyway and try to find out why this sudden need for the implants. The female has implants herself, but also thought she should wait a few years.

The photo above, shows Heidi Montag, a sad, insecure girl who chose to go through drastic plastic surgery to be the "perfect" woman. Instead, she went from a naturally beautiful girl, to a silicone monster! Her own mother didn't recognize her after her 10 surgeries at the tender age of 23. Here is a quote from Heidi's Playboy interview with her irritating husband Spencer Pratt, "If women aren't jealous of you, talking about you and cutting you down, then you're the nerd and I never want to be that." That is some message she is sending out. I really hope that "real" girls aren't looking at her as a role model.

Frankly, I never watched "The Hills" and never knew who she and Spencer was until all their shenanigans were showcased on tabloid television. I think if all these reality freaks were no longer put in the spotlight, it will kill their careers and they'll crawl back to their "normal" lives. I don't care about Lindsay Lohan and her problems. My daughter can't believe this was the same freckle faced girl in the Parent Trap, oh so less drama ago.

Thank goodness I've raised my daughter to have good self esteem and she is surrounded by people who love her exactly as she is. She is not very well endowed due to our Asian heritage, but she looks at the "plastics" and thinks it looks abnormal, so I guess I won't have to worry about having that graduation talk with her. She and her friends know that these larger than life people on television are an exception to the rule. They may want to emulate their fashion, or their movie/tv characters, but none of them are so blinded by the glitter that they believe the hype. And why is that you ask? Because of us, the parents. We don't tolerate society talking down to our children and do everything in our power to make sure our kids are alright. Yes, they are teenagers and they are going through the toughest time of their young lives right now, but in the end, you can only hope that you've done the best you can and be proud when your child shines on their own!

Doodle Dee Doo

I've decided that I was going to make Friday's blog entries, "Freedom Fridays" where I would confess something and then try to explain. Today's confession is that I'm a compulsive doodler! I draw little pictures on my pad at work, junk mail and any paper that happens to be lying around. I usually doodle vines and flowers and swirls, but I've been known to put a spiderweb in a corner or draw a repetive pattern. I like to draw fancy hearts and stars and usually add polka dots to everything.

When I was younger, I use to decorate all my letters to penpals and notes that I passed in class with doodles that covered most of the paper. I had a 5 color Bic Click pen so you could be colorful. I was also obsessed with fonts (I still am) and checked out fancy books from the library to try and copy the lettering.

My daughter and her friends have decided that receiving mail is pretty cool. I looked at a recent letter she received and her friend had drawn things on it and it made me smile. I'm glad that the art of writing on paper is not dead.

I found some sites that interpret your doodles. In the U.K. next year, they even have a National Doodle Day.

The next time you mindlessly draw something, take a look at it and try to remember what you were feeling or thinking about when you drew it. The subconcious is a magical thing!

Don't Fly Away Too Soon

In two weeks, my daughter is going to be 15 1/2 years old. She will be able to get her driving permit. In another 6 months, she will be able to get a job. Soon there will be boyfriends and dances and trips away with friends. Then High School graduation, college and moving away from home. My husband and I often threaten her that when she turns 18, her suitcase will be on the porch and we will be waving goodbye. But really that will be the first day of my heartbreak.

Having only one child, I am very possessive of her. She was always independent and free and never suffered any separation anxiety when she left us. In a way, that hurt my feelings but at the same time, made me proud. I want her to need me. She is needing me less and less during her teen years. I guess these are the years that parents don't feel appreciated. I know what kind of girl she is and I believe I am the reason for it. But I want to protect her from the big, bad world.

My family never protected me when I was young, I had to fend for myself. I did my best, but have many scars. I know that she needs to overcome obstacles on her own, but it will be hard for me to let her. I hope she knows that I only want the best for her and that she is my joy and my reason to live. I heard this song by Ingrid Michaelson called A Bird's Song. Click the link and you can watch a poignant slideshow to the song. I hope I can keep my bird close by but not locked up in a cage. Don't fly away too soon or too far from me!

Dancing and Singing at 84!

On Mother's Day, my daughter's Show Choir performed at the CVHOC High School Benefit Show called "Give My Regards to Broadway", starring Dick Van Dyke. Our show choir performed a medley from the Broadway Show "Guys and Dolls" and they were awesome! Dick Van Dyke was the MC and he had so much energy! He danced, he sang, he messed around with the kids during their performances. When one High School performed a "Phantom of the Opera" medley, he came out with a cape, mask and a rose and gave it to one of the singers, then slinked off stage. When another High School did a "Chorus Line" medley, he came out and danced the choreography and then high kicked Rockette style! It's so inspirational to see such talent, and youthfulness at the ripe age of 84.

He really cares about the Arts in Schools and even took time out before they performed and visited the kids at their High Schools. This benefit brings in needed funds to keep the Arts and this was the 10th Year they've been supporting the schools. I'm so happy that I got to spend my Mother's Day, watching my beautiful, talented daughter and her friends, joyfully dancing and singing. Thanks Mr. Van Dyke and I hope to attend another 10 shows!!

The Lost Art of Customer Service

I feel a little cranky today, so I thought I'd touch on a subject that is near and dear to my heart, customer service! A long time ago in the 80's I worked in retail. Customer service was really the priority in every job I had. It didn't matter if the customer wore the item, if we didn't even HAVE the item, if the customer yelled and screamed, we gave them what they wanted. It was MANDATORY! We greeted everyone, asked if they needed help, was there to actually help them when they needed it and we rang them up with a smile and said have a nice day.

Now you can walk into a store, no one even looks at you. You can stand at the register for an hour before someone bothers to ring you up. If you ask them a question, they say they don't know or we don't have anymore, because they're too lazy to look it up for you, or call somewhere else. I know I'm pigeonholing, but 89% of the time, this is the case!

Another thing is that people don't listen. Today, I went to Taco Bell for lunch. I told him what I wanted and told him the order was for here and I needed a cup for water. He then proceeded to ask me what kind of burrito I wanted, after I had said chicken and I told him I didn't want sauce in it. He asked me you didn't want sauce right? And after I said again, chicken burrito with no sauce, he said what kind of burrito? Now, I do not have an accent, I didn't have a cold that day, I'm pretty sure I enunciated correctly, why couldn't he understand my order??? Then he asked me was it for here or to go, after I had told him when I first ordered. Yes, I get grumpy and sarcastic when I encounter these people because I remember the good old days of customer service. Oh, and if they really wrong me, everyone and anyone will hear about it. I even review places on Yelp and post complaints. My husband calls me the squeaky wheel, and boy do I squeak!!

I always like to reward GOOD customer service. Whenever I get good service, I always make it a point to tell the manager and/or employee that I enjoyed their service, or thanks for being efficient, or understanding my order/situation, etc. I'm hoping that if enough people get the good customer service bug, then there will be less cranky people in the world and we can all walk around smiling, with butterflies and rainbows following us wherever we go. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Where is the Art??

I just came home from a wonderful day of celebrating Art and Volunteerism at an elementary school which is named after the author/illustrator of one of my favorite books, Maurice Sendak. Usually when I volunteer at festivals I encounter what I call "free loaders" who go there to grab anything that isn't nailed down, have poor manners, bad attitudes and let their children run amok. I was worried that I was going to deal with these people today, since the school is in a low income part of North Hollywood, but I was pleasantly surprised. The children were in the most part, well behaved. The parents were grateful and the event was nicely organized. The school was promoting Big Sunday which is a weekend where people give back to the community. In addition to the art projects that were being offered, people helped plant gardens at the school, cleaned up and Girl Scouts helped serve lunch that was free to the participants.

It was such a nice feeling to see that people still care about their school, their kid's education and art. The lovely projects I saw being done were so inspiring that it saddened me to think that possibly in the future, these children may not be able to express their creativity because the budget cuts always chop Art and Music first. As an elementary school student a long time ago, art and music were part of the curriculum and much to my mom's dismay, I was always bringing home my "creations" from school for her to display and/or keep. In fact she still has a lot of the christmas ornaments, frames and flower pots that me and my siblings made as children. To me, that's a good mom. I suppose I got my keepsake gene from her, because I SAVE EVERYTHING! Yes, I have all my daughter's artwork from kindergarten on. Luckily I only have the one child.

The school system is so caught up right now with test scores. There is a battle between schools on who can bring in the highest scores. Yes, it's prestige and a way to get more students as parents are convinced that higher test scores make for a better school. But what about the children who express themselves more creatively and not as much academically? Are they destined to fail because they can't pass algebra, but no one bothers to see that they can paint beautifully, compose symphonies, or express themselves with dance? And when we finally get schools who are specifically for these children, they are the first to be on the chopping block.

I'm worried about the future of my grandchildren and great grandchildren (I can dream!) that they will have to paint, compose and dance in secret because society will only acknowledge the academics and not the poets, dreamers and creators. I hope I will be long gone by then, because if not, it will break my heart!

Imagination...

Yesterday was a very blustery day where I live. Things were blowing around and you suddenly saw many things that didn't belong where they landed. Parts of billboard advertisements flapping in the wind, a child's sock on a car hood, plastic bags as ornaments on trees.

While driving home, I was fascinated with watching this black plastic bag swirling and dancing in the wind. Yes, I said dancing. It swooped so gracefully, soared and then pirouetted as if it was dancing with the wind as its partner. I was mesmerized until the car behind me honked and brought me back to reality.

I'm told that I have a great imagination. As a child I use to create storybook lands on the playground with my friend Inger. We used to ride on horses through a magical forest, live in a cave on the 4 square court and hunt for food at the lunch tables. She was an excellent artist and we would put our stories down on paper then she would illustrate them. I wish I still had them to show to my daughter.

I have another friend from High School whom I really had nothing in common with except the fact that we both loved whimsical things. We would write notes to each other in invisible ink, she would doodle frogs, fairies and unicorns on the outside of the notes. We would have picnics in the park, blow bubbles and name our goldfish crackers before we ate them. We would bake massive amounts of cut out sugar cookies in silly shapes like roosters and horses, decorate them and give them away. We are still friends, but she now does silly things with her little one but now and then a wave of silly would pass over one of us and something would be delivered to our mailboxes.

I like my imagination. I like that I can visualize creations and want to make them happen. I like seeing pictures in the clouds. I like being able to make up silly songs on the spur of the moment. I often see faces in tree branches, ceiling tiles and splotches on the ground. I've had friends who couldn't see what I see and guess what...we are no longer friends. The ones I keep are the ones with open minds, wide eyes and endless possibilities, who aren't afraid of jumping in rain puddles and coloring in coloring books. My hubby sometimes think I should put my feet on the ground and be more grown up, yes I should I suppose, But instead I stick my tongue out at him and chase the ice cream truck.

Excuse me now, so I can go pick up my kidling and embarrass her in front of her friends. I may just show up wearing my Superman Cape and roller skates!

A Sister's Love

I don't really like birthdays that much because it's a scientific method of counting your way out of future existence. But I like when birthdays linger into days, weeks even a month. My sister and mom took me out for my birthday on the 27th of March, when my birthday is on the 1st. It was the first time in our lifetimes that all three of us had dinner together ALONE, without husbands, children and others. We had a great time and we laughed a lot, which I needed.

I am the older sister, but my sister sometimes acts like she is. Her demeanor, her lifestyle, even her style, scream "older" and I sometimes feel like a kid, irresponsible, childish, and out of control. My sister gave me a beautiful silk scarf from artist Laurel Burch and I thought, wow a scarf, this is pretty, but I don't really wear scarves. Then she explained why she gave me the scarf, it was a beautiful palette of purples and blues and it had horses on it. She said that she always remembered how much I loved horses and that the scarf reminded her of our childhood. That made me fall in love with that scarf immediately! We are 4 years apart. I did love horses when I was a kid, my whole room was filled with posters of them, my bookshelves filled with books about them, I had a horse collection from Breyer and I even had them on my shirts. When I was 12 I actually had a horse for a little while (That's another story).

I wasn't the best sister, I tortured her, I threatened her with harm if she told about my boyfriends, I left when I was 15 (not willingly), then we lost touch and she moved to Alaska where we corresponded via snail mail and then we got close again. We missed huge chunks of each other's lives, but are trying hard to catch up. She wrote me an amazing card, but I don't feel like I deserve it. She said that I was there for her, but I don't believe it. I remember feeling guilty for not being there for her. She says she looks up to me, I don't see anything extraordinary that she should look up to. If anything I look up to her. She has accomplished so much in her life, things that I admire, that inspire me and that makes me envy her. I am proud that she is my sister and I am humbled that she admires me. I am often ashamed of my life and wish there was a delete button that can erase the past, but people tell me it's part of the journey of who I have become so it's important.

My goal is to appreciate my life for now, after all I'm 1/2 way to 90 or 5 years away to a 1/2 century. To love my sister as much as I can and to live up to what she sees. I love you T and you are also a part of me, one of the best parts of me. You are beautiful, never doubt it!

Why Don't They Want Me?

Last week, I sent out 25 resumes to various job postings online. I emailed my friends to "network" (aka beg) for any leads they may have for jobs. I even bought an "interview" outfit in case someone called, since I haven't been interviewed in 6 yrs. (That was a bummer too because I couldn't fit into my old clothes and it's not like we have extra money.) I feel rejected, depressed and defeated. I know, there are many people out there that are unemployed and looking for jobs as well, some longer than I have. I can't help but feel unwanted and guilty. I am a viable asset, I have many skills. Yes, I'm not as young and vibrant as I used to be, but I'm not a dinosaur! In the 80's I worked in retail and I was stolen from stores because of my talents. In the 90's I left retail and became an administrator/management and have kept those jobs years at a time. Now in the age of technology, you don't have to look for signs and knock on doors, you just type something, attach something and send it out into the ether and hope that you're not 1 of 1000 other people with the same hope! I'm not an optimist by nature and everday when I see my "empty" inbox, it drags me down further. I was driving by Taco Bell the other day and they are hiring. Do you want hot or mild sauce?

A Mother's Love?

This is a picture of the wonderful breakfast my daughter made me on Mother's Day. She was so excited, she woke me up early but it was fine. The effort was worth it and although it was a little cold, it was made with love so it was delicious. I think Mother's Day is funny because for all mothers do, we only get one day. I'm all for the "Everyday is Mother's Day" mentality, but it is unreasonable because there are things called "teenagers" running around. When the numbers hit the teens, they decide that they know better than mom and when they realize later that mom is right, they are quite sheepish. But think back when we were rebellious teenagers, challenging our moms and we can kind of understand what's going on with our teens. We don't have to like it, but we understand.

I was watching the news tonight and was distressed at a story about a mother and her boyfriend arrested for torturing and murdering her 2 year old son. They concocted a story about him being missing on Mother's Day, but after many holes in their stories and finding a shallow grave with a little boy which matched the description of the "missing" child, the police arrested the couple. This made me sick and sad. It made me think about what a "mother's love" really is.

There are women out there that do not deserve to be mothers who have many children, then there are women who cannot have children who have the love to give and would make excellent mothers. How is it fair that this child had to lose his life because he was unlucky to have a woman who didn't have a mother's love? It is too bad that there isn't a test or license you need to make sure you are capable of being a good mother and have the proper love to give a child. Sadly, I'm not sure I would've passed the test myself. I'm always questioning myself whether I'm a good mother or not. My friends and family assure me that I am, but sometimes when I look back, I'm doubtful. I have an amazing daughter that I know will be successful as an adult. I guess in a way I've contributed to that. Not having an affectionate and supporting mother growing up, I just learned by observing "good" mothers and also how I would've liked to be treated as a kid.

I've known "Brady Bunch" moms, career moms, step moms and grand-moms who took their job of mothering very seriously. I've also seen some lousy moms and tried to let the children know that it's not their fault that they got stuck with a sucky mom. Any mom who chooses a man over their children should have their mom license revoked. Any mom who kills the dreams and self worth of their children should be sent away to a cave. Any mom who physically hurts or tortures a child should go away forever by any means necessary. Children are the victim of circumstance. Sometimes they can rise above it and sometimes they choose the wrong path because of it. I know, I've lived it and fortunately made most of the right choices that led me where I am today. I didn't have my child until I was 30 because I was frightened that I wouldn't be a good mom. I admit that I do live vicariously through my child, but as long as she is happy, I'm happy.

Every day is a journey and as long as you obtain knowledge, grow and continue to love, you'll be the best mom you can be!

Anti-Social Networking?

I have been reluctantly getting into the social networking game but I've been surprised at some of the results of it. I decided to make a Myspace because my hubby was obsessed with it and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. My child begged me for one so I gave in, but only if I knew the password and could go in and check it out from time to time. It's not an invasion of privacy if she knows, although she calls me the "Myspace Police" when I rant about some of her friend's posts and pages. See a prior blog post "I've Been Demoted" for more details.

I then tried Facebook because my friend wanted to give me "flair", which are digital pins with witty sayings on them which you can post on your profile. I liked the concept of Facebook but it wasn't fun and colorful like Myspace was. I found a lot of long lost friends which was cool, but also people whom I didn't care for found me which wasn't that great. It was a good way to quickly keep in touch and let people know things in a group instead of sending out mass emails. Overall, I think I use Facebook the most. My hubby doesn't like Facebook because he says it's too nosy. He doesn't want to know that Jane just brushed her teeth and is getting ready for work...ha ha.

My friend Jody is the Queen of Social Networking. She's even gone to the extreme of doing a "Lifecast" which is having her life constantly streaming on the web. She's a singer/songwriter and lives for the internet, so to her it wasn't strange to do such a thing. She was involved with the One Red Paperclip Project and was able to get her CD recorded. She then moved to New York from Arizona thanks to her internet friends who found her a place to live and showed her the ins and outs of the public transportation system. She was then tired of taking 1 1/2 hrs. to get to work each way so she pleaded her case to Ford at the Fiesta Movement and now she's zipping around in her Magenta Ford Fiesta!

Now this Twittering thing is kind of interesting. You can "follow" people's tweets, even if you don't know them like celebrities, musicians and t.v. personalities. It's kind of eavesdropping on their lives and some of their insights are very interesting. You can also follow "normal" people like your friends, if they follow you back, you can have a conversation. I'm following Diablo Cody from "Juno" fame, Martha Stewart, Ellen Degeneres and John Mayer. I'm not always around the internet to keep it interesting because Twitter is best when you are constantly interacting with it.

Of course I have this blog. I like to write and I find I have many things to write about. I am not as diligent at it as I could be but again, I don't live on the internet, I try to have a life. I don't even know if anyone reads it unless I ask them to, so it's kind of like a secret journal with the key just sitting out there to be used if someone wants to take a look!

Check out some different social networking sites and maybe you'll find one that fits. If not, there are the old standbys, land line telephone and good old paper and pen!

Trying to Make a Dollar Out of Fifteen Cents

After 6 years at my company, I was let go. Although I've initally freaked out and went through all the grieving phases, my husband assures me that we are going to be o.k. I get paralyzed when things change. I'm a girl of routine and planning. I can be spontaneous, if I plan it in advance! My calendar is all scribbled and my new ipod touch has all my stuff on the calendar with little reminder alerts routinely popping up.

Not having money coming in is not a good thing for me, a confirmed shopaholic. I am not an "expensive, designer" shopaholic, I'm a bargain, 99 cent store shopaholic. Both kinds end up with lots of stuff I don't need but with the latter, they were cheap or on sale.

It is hard to change this mentality but I am trying. Today, I only bought necessities...well I really needed the red vines! I took Amanda and I to Carl's Jr. because I had 2 coupons for free items, so I spent $1.59 on fries. I got laid off the weekend of our 23rd anniversary and of course we weren't in the mood for going out. I am planning on taking my guy to T.G.I. Fridays for dinner because I have a bogo coupon for Jack Daniel Meal which he loves, a coupon for a free dessert and a $25.00 gift card. If we plan on ordering drinks, then it may go a little over, but most of it will be F-R-E-E!

But you know the saying, when one door closes another one opens. Sunday I was called to participate in a focus group in Long Beach to look at car prototypes for $125. My friend needed me to run her Japanese Antique shop for a few days so she hired me. I just checked my bank balance and I received a refund for something I forgot about. So if this is any indication the way my luck will run, please keep it up.

The Happiest Birthday on Earth!

Living in So. CA, it's a given that you'll go to Disneyland some time in your life. We are only about an hour away, so we can go whenever we like, if we could afford it!

The people in marketing at the House of Mouse are ingenious in making 2009 the Year of Celebration, letting people get in for free on their birthday with an online registration.

My daughter's birthday was on January 2nd, so she was the first to start off this D-land freebie, but really the laughs on us. Yes, we save $62.00 in ticket price, but they getcha in the parking, food, stuff, taking the day off of work and the other people you bring along with you, because it's not cool to go to Disneyland alone. It took almost 45 minutes, just to get the ticket. Then we had to wait to get into the park. In the park it was crowded and we had to wait hours and hours for the fun rides like Space Mountain and Haunted Mansion. It was really cold too, so we shivered while we waited. I forgive, because after all, it was the 2nd day of the promotion and I guess a lot of people were getting busy in May, which ironically is the month of Mother's Day, in order to have January birthdays. It was still decorated for Christmas and we got to frolic in soap bubble snow, the closest thing to the cold stuff we get in SoCal, so overall it was pseudo-fun.

I decided that I wanted to go to D-land on my birthday on March 1st, as well. Conveniently, my birthday fell on a Sunday, so we didn't have to take off work. We headed off early this time because last time we got there mid-morning and suffered for it. We found parking right away, we got our tickets quickly and they even gave me the two-fer special since we were SoCal residents, which means we can come back within 30 days and go to CA Adventure for free! We got through the ticket turnstyle in a snap and we even took time to take a park survey. They gave me a birthday button which was cool and when you put it on, something magical happened. EVERYONE wished me Happy Birthday! I tried to count all the birthday wishes and hoped to have as many as my age, but I was short a few. I guess I could've counted the ones I'd already received from friends and family. After a quick pic with my new boyfriend Goofy (He kissed me on the top of my head) we went on Indiana Jones first because last time it was a 100 minute wait and we love Indy, but nope. This time, it was barely 10 minutes. It was pretty much like this for most of the morning, we walked right into the front door of the Haunted Mansion. That is incredible! We even took a picture of it to savor the memory. We walked into Pirates, The Jungle Cruise, where we were not disappointed by the groan worthy cruise director and rocketed through Buzz Lightyear's ride. The weather was warm, the crowds were light and the day was splendid. I believe I smiled the whole day. Which is so not like me!

I decided that I wanted to do stuff that I had never done. We went on the big ship Columbia and toured around Pirate Island, which used to be Tom Sawyer Island. Then we went onto Pirate Island and it was cool, checking out caves, walking on wobbly bridges, being trapped in a cage made of bones and finding the big booty...ya know the pirate's treasure. As it got hotter, we stopped at the Pizza Port for cold drinks and water misting. We were even able to find a table and fill up our water bottles from the fountain dispenser inside without anyone giving us the evil eye.

The heat started getting to us so we left kind of early for going to an amusement park. We had to work and go to school the next day anyway. All in all it was a wonderful day and I want to thank the Mouse for giving me a fun gift that I enjoyed immensely! The next birthday will be in October, which will be near Halloween. Oooh, the perfect time for the Haunted Mansion! Can't wait!